Of Trust and Trusting
by rjjoupa
Summary: What if Lily and James never loved one another? What if hatred and and fear possessed the world they lived in and there was no way to succumb to happiness? Harry Potter travels back in time to unite the man and woman that are destined to belong together.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** This is the FINAL rewrite of Chapter 1. I can't take it anymore--every time I write a story I leave it because it sounds so bad in my head. I am so sorry for doing this but in all honesty, I'll never be able to rest until the beginning hits home run (or, at least, close to it). So thanks for being patient and please stick around--if I get it right this time I WILL update.

This story takes place when Harry is 18--everything before is strictly canon, this is just what happens after the series ends. Hopefully this might clear up any confusion.

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns every snippet of Harry Potter, even what rests in the figments of my imagination. **

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Fate.

It's an inexplicable, unstoppable, and completely _irrevocable_ force. Whereas physics can define and predict the natures of the world, Newton's law cannot apply to this beautiful, yet terrible power. Its wheels and cogs start to turn the moment a wondrous being is conceived--the moment mother earth wishes to bring another creature into this unfair and cruel world.

No one is exempt from fate's twisted mind--all of God's creatures and all of His men are bound together by one common, underlying principle: they all have a destiny, whether it be benign or unjust, and as hard as humans try they will _never_ be able to predict and control what has already been formed since the beginning of time.

It's a force that is unseen (although Divination thinks otherwise), unpredictable, and definitely something not to be reckoned with. What's done is done; the power of predetermination holds judgment over the axis and wheel that is life.

A foolish man thinks he can overcome this predicament, but the wise man simply bows his head into submission. As William Shakespeare says, "What fates impose, that men must needs abide; It boots not to resist both wind and tide."

However, as incredible as this force may be, there are some (rather narrow-minded) people in the world who think it is fabricated; it's merely a simple solution for all of man's hardships and shortcomings, an excuse to blame all of the pain and suffering threaded in man-made society on a wondrous deity up in the heavens. Man wishes to find the easiest way out, yet:

If fate is contrived, then how else will one be able to explain the _greatest_ force in the world, more powerful and terrifying than any God in the sky? For to speak of fate is to speak of love.

And love, no matter how hard people try, cannot be made_._

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Harry Potter was lying on a cold, hard surface. _"That's funny"_ he thought, _"Last time I checked my bad wasn't uncomfortable." _With his eyes still shut, he thrust out a hand and groped around in search of his glasses, but all his hand felt was more, smooth marble. Oddly it reminded him of King's Cross. With a smidgen of panic beginning to form at the pit of his stomach, he opened his eyes.

The high and arched glass dome ceiling glittered majestically as the morning sun's rays hit it in all of the right places; the headmaster's office was beautifully illuminated--oddly shaped silver instruments glittered in the light, licorice snaps jumped belligerently in their bowl, and a small fire that Harry knew would contain Fawkes the Phoenix was steadily burning--yet the headmaster's chair was empty. He closed his eyes.

_"NO!"_ His mind screamed, _"I _must_ be dreaming. There is NO WAY I am in Dumbledore's office, absolutely no bloody way. He's dead. He's dead. This is all just a dream. I'm going to wake up now."_

But deep down, Harry knew he was conscious.

All of the endless possibilities infiltrated his mind. What was going on? How on earth did he end up here? Harry swore he went to bed back home, next to Ginny...He remembered yesterday's events perfectly. He woke up at the crack of dawn, went to the auror training headquarters, had lunch, visited Ron and Hermione, and returned home where he and Ginny watched a muggle movie on the telly...and then he went to bed. If every event was crystal clear, then why didn't he have any inkling of what happened afterward? How did he get where he was now?

The smidgen of panic grew into the size of a quaffle. What if this was some cunning trick the leftover Death Eaters were playing? After Voldemort was killed not all of them were captured. A few were able to flee the Hogwarts castle and seek refuge far away in some foreign country. Harry knew that the auror department was trying to find and imprison all of the remaining followers, but so far they had only been able to find the whereabouts of one--somewhere far in Transylvania. What if Harry's mind was being injected with this false images? Where were Ginny and the others? They needed to be safe!

"Relax, Harry" said a soft, twinkling voice.

Albus Dumbledore entered the office, but not through any door. It seemed he had appeared out of thin air, but wasn't apparition unable to be performed within Hogwart's castle walls?

It took a while for the sight of him to register with Harry. He couldn't really take in the fact that a man he saw die was standing right before his very own eyes. Dumbledore looked as healthy as ever--in fact, one might say he looked radiant. Not one hand was blackened, and from the short distance Harry saw Dumbledore's blue eyes--which were so much like his brother Aberforth's-- twinkling with immeasurable happiness. Yet again, Harry was reminded of King's Cross.

The shock finally settled in and disbelief flitted itself across Harry's face.

"Pro..fessor?" he asked tentatively, "Is that really you?" He couldn't believe it. No, he wouldn't believe it. This was some hoax made by a Death Eater, or better yet this was part of the auror training program! They were testing him, yes, that must be it! What a genius way to test his skills too--unknowingly and during his sleep. Of course it must be part of the training, they would need to see how well he reacts to such bizarre circumstances!

Dumbledore had a knowing kind of smile. "It's really me Harry, and no auror is planting some false idea into your head. Please, trust me on this. I don't have much time."

Harry didn't know what to do. He didn't want to accept that it really was Dumbledore, and that he really was in his office, because that would mean a whole plethora of questions that would need to be immediately answered.

"Please, Harry. I beg you." His tone was pleading, urgent. It reminded Harry of when he begged for Snape on that fateful night atop the Astronomy tower, which led him to speculate once again. Dumbledore was dead!

"I understand that this must be difficult for you Harry, but please, this is the most imperative duty, even more important than the task of defeating Voldemort." Now Harry was simply dumbfounded. What could be more important than when he had to kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? His whole life had been dedicated to it, and he had shed more blood and tears than anyone who had participated in the war against Voldemort. What nerve did Dumbledore have, saying there was another duty to fulfill and that it was more important than the one Harry had already completed? What sheer audacity he had possessed! He took Harry from his warm bed and now he was lying there, on the cold ground, his mind racing with endless possibilities as to what was going on and the steady wave of panic was growing bigger and bigger. Harry felt anger surge through his body, but he knew he ought to stay calm. Curiosity was getting the better of him and he let the old man continue.

"Now, let me say first of all: Harry, I am so proud of what you have accomplished. You saw how palpably content I was back at the station, so I won't waste any more time congratulating you again. You know everything now, save for what I am about to tell you.

"Harry, have you always wondered why, all of a sudden during their 7th year, Lily decided to finally accept James's constant dating proposals?"

Harry struggled to form a coherent thought. The shock had still not surpassed, but he tried with all his might to elicit a sentence. "Um, well I suppose...from what I've seen in the pensieve, James...deflated his head a bit."

Dumbledore smiled, the twinkle in his eyes growing brighter. "Yes Harry, but...knowing James's personality, _why_ did he deflate his head?"

"I dunno, I guess he finally matured or something?" Harry was exasperated. Why was Dumbledore talking about his parents?

"You're probably wondering what's going on, do you?" Harry nodded vigorously, to which Dumbledore responded with a laugh. "Trust me my wonderful dear boy, but alas, you're not a boy anymore but a man! You shall find out in a matter of minutes, and hopefully I won't be such an irksome bother much longer."

"You're not being a bother, sir...I'm sorry I seemed so caught off guard." Harry felt slightly ashamed.

"Don't be. I would react in the same in your situation, but I daresay the shock you received is only a fraction of what is to come." Harry looked up into his eyes. They were twinkling so much they seemed to blaze, uncannily similar the fire that Fawkes would reborn himself in.

"Harry, the year is September 1st, 1977. (**A/N**: I think I got it right...? Could someone correct me if I'm wrong?) Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The current Head Boy and Head Girl are James Potter and Lily Evans." Upon hearing this, this time Harry's eyes grew to the size of quaffles and his jaw opened and fell to the floor. He was in a massive Time Turner!! He was going to meet his parents!! He couldn't believe it; it seemed all to good to be true; it wasn't real, he was merely dreaming. He didn't even think such a Time Turner could exist.

"I have performed perhaps some of the most complex magic I have ever done in my entire life--yes, we have used a Time Turner, but it's not a regular one; I've extended its abilities beyond anyone could have ever thought to do."

Harry sputtered, "but...professor!!! How on earth...?"

"You see Harry, after your third year at Hogwarts, Ms. Granger left the Time Turner in my possession and with a few experimental tinkering, I managed to enhance it even further. It took me back years and years and I could stay for as long as I wanted, and then I could return to my time whenever I pleased. Due to unnatural curiosity, and since I wanted to aid you in finishing Voldemort as much as I could, I traveled forward in time and found out all of the events that would take place after you would go home for the summer. I interrogated myself--I was disguised of course--and trust me, it was the most mind boggling experience...I cannot put into words how strange it was to talk to myself in the future. I found out everything that would happen and with this knowledge I set about doing everything I could to make sure we all followed the chosen path. However, due to my curiosity--which, as you know, was later my downfall--I traveled once again, but this time into the _past_. I ended up in this year, but I traveled a few months earlier than where we are now. Using another number of disguises I went to the school and met myself once again. This time, I questioned my old self about James and Lily, and learned about their hatred towards one another.

"Harry, as crazy as it sounds, James never liked Lily. All those stories of him pursuing her, all of the rejections, and ever when you saw Snape's memory your 5th year--those were all made up. It's a hoax. James hates Lily, and she equally returns that emotion. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but they are the most unlikely pairing I have ever seen.

"Harry, it is up to you to live out the 7th year you never got to experience. It is your fate to get Lily and James together. Unfortunately, I have no idea how, but only _you_ possess the secret and skill that can unite them."

Harry didn't think his body could take in any more shock. All he felt was numbness--the knowledge of his parent's relationship was now being crumbled into a billion tiny pieces, destroyed as if it were the locket that had screamed when it had taken the Sword of Gryffindor. It couldn't be true...hadn't James devoted most of his Hogwarts career to asking Lily out every, single, day?

He now understood why this task was more important than defeating Voldemort; if he didn't get his parents together, then he would never exist. Harry nodded.

"But Professor, what about Ginny? And Ron and Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys, and work..." the panic returned.

"Don't worry my dear Harry! Part of the beauty of this Time Turner is that YOUR present time is frozen in place! It allows you to travel as you please, and the only person affected is you and the people in the time in which you travel to! When you get back, you'll be able to pick up as you left before--you'll wake up in your bed and live life the way it was. And I trust you won't ever tell anyone about this experience too, so this is a secret you can surely keep to the grave!"

Harry nodded. Of course he'd never tell anyone about this. It was too maddening.

A sudden terrifying idea popped into his head. With a weak voice, Harry spoke: "Sir, won't Lily and James_ notice_ if there's a kid who resembles James so much he could be his twin, except that he has...Lily's exact green eyes? They're not dumb...they're the heads of the school for a reason. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to appear out of nowhere and say 'Hey guys, I'm your son!' Isn't this supposed to be...gradual?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, yes. I was hoping you'd mention that." He withdrew a sack and emptied the contents of its pockets, and a small glittering vile fell out to the floor. It did not break, although it appeared to be made of glass. A swirling, colorless substance was dancing within the walls of the bottle. Harry picked it up; it felt cold to the touch.

"I have also done some tinkering with Polyjuice Potion. What you are holding right now is the only one of it's kind in the world, one of my inventions. Yet some more complex magic had to be permed to achieve this brilliant potion. I don't really have a name for it. Unlike the Polyjuice potion, it keeps the drinker transformed for a full 12 hours. Once the contents are empty, it replenishes by itself so you never have to brew another batch. But, Harry, this is my only warning: you _must_, and I repeat must, drink this every 12 hours. If not, you'll immediately be transformed back into yourself.

"Don't let anyone catch you drinking this--it's a very sketchy potion to posses, and certainly unexplainable."

Harry felt as if all his energy was draining from his body. It dawning on him bit by bit of what he was about to do, and _whom_ he was about to meet.

"Sir, who will I be transforming into?"

"Well Harry, I thought I'd make this a bit fun for you." A mischievous glint appeared in his eye, something Harry had never really seen before. Oh no...he thought; knowing Dumbledore, this would probably not make him thrilled in the slightest.

"You see, instead of making you British, I decided to make you Russian." (**A/N**: Of course!! Hehe =P)

Harry simply stared. He had GOT to be kidding...there was no way in the blistering fires of Hell he was going to be a Russian for a year...He didn't even speak any Russian. Plus, wouldn't people realize he had a British accent instead of a Russian one..?

Dumbledore, sensing Harry's thoughts, quickly added, "Your name will be Dimitry 'Dima' Alexandrovitch Kuznetsov. This genius potion will make you have an accent, will enable you to speak the language, and will obviously change your appearance.

"The Dumbledore in this time period will not know what I know now--he, or rather I, does not know who you are and what you really represent. I will be meeting up with you once in a while to check up on you. I have timed my short visits so that no one will see us speaking. It's been very tricky coordinating my arrival so that no one will see you, but that does not matter. This duty is of utmost importance. Please Harry, you must get your parents together before the end of this year comes about. You don't understand the horrific consequences if you do not fulfill this task. It's your destiny Harry--the fate of the world lies within your hands. Make sure you use them well."

"Oh, and one more thing...Harry, since this is 1977, it also means that Voldemort is still alive...his threat looms over the entirety of Great Britain, and a shadow of fear has been perpetuated amongst all of its inhabitants." There was a sad gleam to his eyes.

Harry felt red-hot anger boiling up from the pit of his stomach. Tears of fury began to well up in his eyes. After _all_ that time he spent, searching for the evil that is Voldemort, and after _finally_ killing him, he had to live in a time where he was still alive? He was shaking with rage. Although he knew his efforts were not futile in the long run, he did not want to spend another waking moment reliving the terror that was You-Know-Who. "Please Harry, please calm down. I understand you're angry, but you must understand that this is essential. Do not dwell on the fact that Voldemort currently exists--dwell on the prospect that you will finally meet your parents!

"Now, quickly! Take the potion! Lily and James should be here any minute, waiting to introduce themselves to you! You will be lodging in the Head Dorms in order to keep a sharp eye on them. Obviously you'll be sorted into Gryffindor, but pretend as if there is no more space in the common room so people won't think it's strange you're not in it." He smiled wistfully. "And... Good luck Harry." He placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it for comfort, as if doing so Harry's nerves would calm down.

Alarmed at the prospect that everything was happening so quickly, Harry opened his mouth to ask, "But Sir..."--however, with a flourish of his wand Dumbledore vanished on the spot, leaving Harry staring at an empty office. The air suddenly seemed cold, as if a draft had blown in the room from where Dumbledore had disappeared.

Left utterly confused and not knowing what else to do, Harry quickly took a gulp of the potion; immediately the effects began to take place once the liquid slid down his throat. His body started bubbling violently, his heart started pounding as if he had just played the most intense game of quidditch, and his head began to hurt. It seemed as if the transformation would never end. Whereas the Polyjuice Potion's effects happened instantly, this seemed to go on forever. Fire burned and raged throughout his entire body, and the flames finally finished their course after what seemed like eternity.

Harry didn't know that he had squeezed his eyes shut until he realized he couldn't see. Upon opening his eyes, he discovered that he was a lot taller, and a lot more muscular. His torso, arms, and legs seemed massive compared to his actual figure. The potion had changed his clothes as well. He desperately wished to find a mirror so he could be able to see what his face looked like, but there didn't seem to be mirror in Dumbledore's office. However, the vile provided a great reflection, and Harry could see what his new face looked like. His hair was short and light brown, and rather tamed in comparison to his original black unruly mess. His eyes were small and blue and lacking every brilliance that Lily's green eyes possessed. The potion had done well. He was unrecognizable. If Harry didn't know any better, he would question why there was a stranger standing exactly where he was.

Out of blatant curiosity Harry uttered "This is unbelievable." A hand flew up to his mouth the moment he spoke. His British accent had been replaced with a thick, Russian one, and Harry's voice was so much lower than what he was accustomed to.

The door flew open. A younger looking Dumbledore emerged with a smile intact. Harry wasn't glad that he was oblivious to this plan; he wished Dumbledore hadn't been so vague when he rushed through everything. A bit of anger surged through his new body, and Harry willed himself to stay calm. However, since he was about to introduce himself to his parents, he couldn't exactly succumb to tranquility.

"Hello, Mr...Kuznetsov?" Harry nodded. "I'm afraid I can't pronounce it correctly." Dumbledore smiled. "I'm sorry, I haven't brushed up on Russian in a while. My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am the school's headmaster. Welcome! I'm glad you could transfer here--this is a wondrous and beautiful environment and I hope your last year is made worthwhile.

"The Head Boy and Girl will be here promptly to properly introduce you to the school. Where is it exactly that you come from?"

Harry replied nervously, "err--" but was cut off when the doors opened once more.

James Potter and Lily Evans were standing right in front of him.

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Well there ya go! I hope it's good, I'm still not liking it but it's a hell of a lot better than what I had before. There are still some awkward patches but honestly I've spent so long writing this (longest chapter I've written yet!) that I was too tired to proof-read efficiently. Please review , I'd appreciate it TONS!

With much peace & love,  
Michelle (:


	2. Well, This Sucks

For those who have read and reviewed the first chapter, thank you. I truly appreciate it & please, if you haven't reviewed then do so! (: It means tons to those writers who are insecure about their stories; criticism/praise is greatly welcomed.

Heads up: I'm not sticking with a certain point of view in this story. I'll be switching from 1st person to 3rd person whenever I feel like it.

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns everything pertaining to Harry Potter.

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"Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks."  
-_Unknown_

**Lily Evans**

Some people would say I'm a pessimist. Personally, I think that's a bit harsh. I like to think of myself as a...realist. It's so much more practical than being super happy all the time, that and the fact that I have the worst luck in the world. ...at least I think so. I never have to raise my hopes up too high, and usually I can predict anything that will happen in the next 12 hours. At least, that's how my life is supposed to be. For the past few years it's been as dull as white bread and about as exciting as History of Magic (thank God I dropped that class 6th year). Hell, if my life were a roller coaster than no one would want a ride due to lack of amusement. No hills, no bumps, nothing. The tracks travel on a flat surface--my chest is unfortunately flatter--and those who dare to venture would probably die from boredom.

Speaking of flat chests, when did THIS happen??? All my life I envied those curvaceous blondes people like...that stupid _Potter_ would screw around in the sack, since I had nothing to flaunt myself. Not that I would show it off anyways, I'm definitely not that kind of girl. Alright, I'll admit it, my inhibitions are let down slightly when I'm a little bit tipsy but I swear, that's it!! And although my lack of shape used to bother me sometimes, I grew accustomed to it. What I was missing my friends made up for me instead, which sometimes used to unleash jealous emotions in me. Theyre too damn attractive for my own good, since most of the boys pay attention to them _and not_ me. But I've matured, I've learned to love my stick of a figure.

Well, I suppose Mother Nature decided to be generous for once in her life and gave me the gift of...breasts. I just kinda woke up one day and BAM, I went to take a shower and was greeted by two unfamiliar...well I don't know what to call them. You get the picture. I simply magically sprouted boobs. It only took all of eternity for it to finally happen. Of course, like always, Petunia (I guess were on a formal name basis now) was immediately overcome with envy, but I'm not surprised anymore. I still regret that fact that our relationship has been blown to smithereens...she's my sister, after all. But ever since I received my Hogwarts letter, nothing's been the same. It's always this stupid, sneering expression now, the name calling--Freak she says--and now that she has dear _Vernon_ to look after I've been forgotten. I don't know if I should be more saddened by this or thrilled. That girl has put me through almost as much pain as _Potter_ has, and such a comparison is indeed noteworthy.

Speaking of which, how did that happen?? Vernon Dursley is roughly the size of about ten thousand quaffles, if you stuffed them in a tent of course. At least, that's how I view his clothes. Theyre massive. One day at dinner Petunia announced they were getting married and I nearly choked on my salad. I couldn't imagine a couple more ridiculous looking--well actually I could--but that's besides the point. Theyre polar opposites, at least physically. I suppose Petunia was never viewed attractive and with the sudden affection Vernon was showing her I guess she fell in love. It'd be sweet if Vernon were skinnier and less hairy.

Actually, now that I think about it, I feel like everything's changing all around me. This summer was definitely different than all of the previous ones and well...I don't think 7th year is going to be quite as predictable. Even when I breath I feel as if the air around me is different, and I don't know whether it's good or a bad thing. I'm kind of scared, actually. I don't know what to expect and that's a first. Usually I can lay everything out on a tablecloth and spread jam on it to spice it up a little, if I want to. The flavor's always the same too. I'm bland and I love it. I don't like variety. But somehow, I don't think I'll be sticking with strawberry much longer.

Knowing my catastrophic luck, my ordinary life is no more.

_Fuck_.

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It's September 1st, and I'm having a horrible day. Horrible does not even begin to sum up a fraction of how terrible it's been.

My alarm clock must've broken because it did not ring at 6:30 like I wanted it to. It must seem silly that an adult witch is using muggle technology, but honestly I prefer that method over the magical way. I've tried it once and nearly went into cardiac arrest because it shocked the living daylights out of me. You simply say the words "Set Alarm" and then the time, and then...well, let's just say it sounds like an infinite amount of owls hooting in your ears instead of a nice, shrill ring. You know, Petunia's wonderful voice can substitute instead of an alarm clock, her beautiful tones would get me out of bed faster than if Potter were to magically appear next to me. And that's saying _something_.

I can't even remember how our absolutely unnecessary altercation started. I think it was after I received my letter of acceptance that she began to display abhorrence towards me. Mum and dad were ridiculously pleased that their ickle Lilykins was much more special than the rest of the children back in the lower schools, but Petunia was anything but. Tuney, I used to call her. She wrote to the headmaster begging to be accepted to the school but he kindly told her that only children possessing magical blood were allowed. The temper tantrum that ensued was tremendous. She cried so much I think she flooded the house for nearly a week. Mum threatened to take her to the therapist and that shut her up for good. However, nothing was ever the same afterward. She'd give me piercing glares and if looks could kill then I wouldve died rougly 6 years ago. The status of sisters quickly disappeared, and she would no longer acknowledge me. No glance in my direction, not even the fiery stares of hell. It hurt. Deep. We existed together in the same household simply because we were forced to. I wouldn't move out and neither would she, and thus her presence shadowed mine. Mum and Dad tried turning a blind eye at first in hopes that we'd part with our differences and reconcile, but during the following Christmas holidays they could no longer condone the situation. I felt the worst for them, since they had to witness two sisters who couldn't stand to be around one another within a 50ft radius. Families and loved ones are supposed to stay together, not be torn apart.

Since I was running late, I had to do everything at 3x faster speed than normal. It's a good thing I have partial obsessive compulsive problems and packed the night before or else I'd be in a frenzy at the moment. Which I was, so to speak. I managed to eat breakfast and get dressed at the same time. Quite an accomplishment, if I may say so myself. Luckily I didn't spill any eggs on my new white shirt or else I'd be a very unhappy girl indeed--as if I'm already not pissed enough.

And speaking of clothes, my shorts would not fit! I know I didn't gain any weight (except for aforementioned boobs), but I knew my tummy was the same size as ever. I even had mum amble over and try to get the button into the buttonhole, but no such luck. She said that my hips must've gotten wider, which I can't possibly believe. I've been a stick all my life, why should now I finally get some curves into me? Well, I DID burgeon boobs, didn't I? Anyways, I had to magically widen my shorts, which set me back another half hour.

I felt like I was on amphetamines I was moving so fast. With my belongings and beloved cat Daisy assembled at the foot of the door, I hollered out to my parents, who finally got to the door after the Ice Age came and went for a second time. Petunia refused to accompany us, which reduced my mother to tears. After another 10 minutes of consoling her, we finally left the house and piled into our ancient car. I told my parents about 100000 times we needed to buy a new one, but they would not listen. It wheezed and groaned and I was tempted to grab my parents and apparate into King's Cross, but I knew it would be impossible for them to travel with me. We were running unbelievably late, and by the time we got to the station I had 10 minutes to get myself together. I felt horrible since I couldn't say my goodbyes with mum and dad for as long as I would have liked, but what else could I have done? I gave my farewells and quickly clambered through platform 9 and 3/4. The train was starting to billow steam, but luckily I managed to jump on in time.

I wanted so badly to find Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald, my two best friends, but I knew I had to visit the head compartment first. I was actually quite excited to find out who Head Boy was--I was fairly confident Remus Lupin would get the spot. He's the only marauder I can stand, since he's genuinely a nice guy. He's the perfect candidate. All other boys are pigs, and since I have to share dorms with one of them then at least it should be one with enough decency.

That's when the trouble started.

I've had enough on my plate to last me for a lifetime, thank you very much. But no, God decided to play a cruel and twisted joke on me. Well, if not God, then all I have to blame is Dumbledore, since it's his fault _he_ was appointed Head Boy.

I arrived at the compartment slightly out of breath since I was running like my life depended on it (and in a sense, it did). No one else was in there and I contemplated sitting down before the door opened.

Sirius Black's haughty head emerged.

My jaw dropped. "YOU...??"

He simply stared at me as if I were a lunatic who escaped from the padded ward at St. Mungo's. I didn't get along with the Marauders at ALL, save for Remus.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't our lovable Evans. I've missed you," he said with a sneer worthy of Lucius Malfoy.

How I hated him. "Please tell me this is one of your stupid pranks. I'm quite surprised that you've started this early--but then I guess you lot don't want to waste any precious time of your last year," I said as coldly as I could muster. But in reality, my heart was pounding dangerously fast. I was about to faint if he said he was Head Boy.

His cavalier expression slightly faltered. "Wha--you think I was appointed Head Boy?" And with that he let out a bark of laughter and proceeded to laugh his bloody arse off until the door opened again.

This time, .... oh I can't say it. My maimed soul cries every time I mention his name... oh alright, that pathetic excuse of a human being I like to call James _Potter_ strolled in. His arrogant aura filled the entire compartment and it made me cringe a little with illness.

He also stared at Sirius as the latter continued to laugh manically. After he finally calmed down, I said icily "I'm glad you've regained control of yourself, Black. It would've been such a shame if you were never to shut up." He glared at me, then proceeded to say to Potter "She--she thought that, that, oh Merlin's pants...that I was appointed Head Boy!! And I thought she was supposed to be the brightest witch in our year--"

This time, Potter--oh I really hate even thinking about him--looked at me. I'm the only female whose ever been subjected to his gaze without simpering. Most people consider this a feat, however; I don't know why the task seems so difficult. He absolutely revolts me. I'd rather swim with the giant squid than allow myself to be attracted to him in any way, shape, and/or form. Yea yea I will admit he is somewhat good looking, but that's besides the point. His personality and ego are simply disgusting and I try to avoid him as much as possible. Anyways, he looked at me as if I had foam coming out of my mouth. He smirked. "Au contraire my dear Evans, it is _I_ who has been blessed with the honorary Head Boy position." Then he turned to Black, "Why the bloody Hell were you in here anyway?"

As the Spanish like to say, ¡Dios Mio! I probably put on my deranged facial expression I make whenever I see Petunia and Vernon displaying any public affection, because suddenly Potter and Black stared at me as if I had totally lost my mind. To be quite frank...longbottom--wow, I apologize for the terrifying pun, but I had to-- I'm pretty sure I had lost the concept of sanity. In fact, I'm absolutely positive I had. There was no way in the BLOODY depths of Hell Dumbledore would consider appointing us together. I barely talked to him and we feuded like the British and the French--imagine what would transpire if we'd have to see one another on a constant twenty four hour basis?

I don't know how I gathered up my marbles but I must say it was quite an accomplishment that I did so. After readjusting my jaw to normal proportions, I turned to face the wall and promptly banged my head. Well, lo and behold, I left a small dent.

Black looked at Potter for a second and then it dawned on him that I was probably totally crazy, so he quickly got outta there. I don't blame him. I was about to furiously yell at Potter for ruining my last year at Hogwarts, and my rage is something no one ever should witness.

Needless to say, the train ride was bloody awful. I didn't even have the chance to say hello to Mary and Mar, but they were probably snogging the living daylights out of some hot Ravenclaw boys. See, I always miss out on the fun. The last bit of action I got was at a quidditch after-party last year, where Amos Diggory decided to attempt at "popping my cherry." I was too drunk to realize what he was trying to do, but luckily Remus got me out of the sticky situation. Remind me to never drink again, because I will probably end up in a similar scenario. I'm a lot different when I'm inebriated. It's as if I'm two-faced. Ugh. He was such a bloody wanker, and now that I think about it the snogging was disgusting. He's a horrible kisser, and believe me, I know what a good kisser is like. I'm not a prude for Heaven's sake, even though my list of men is considerably shorter than everyone else's.

Eh, I don't feel like describing the Prefect's meeting and all the arrangements we had to do, since it was more dull than a sack of powdered pancakes. I just realized that I seem to relate a lot of my life to food. It's a good thing that the feast is coming up, I'm bloody starving. Ugh, I've been swearing so much more since I've encountered Potter. You see what he does to me? He's bad for my health. It's diminishing.

What else happened in the sequence of my unfortunate events? Oh yeah. THIS.

I never experienced anything more awkward and embarrassing than when we had to change into our Hogwarts robes. I was not comfortable at ALL stripping down to my bra and underwear in front of Potter. He didn't care about his body, he changed faster than it takes me time to pee. But alas, me being a girl, I was forced to the confinements of the corner and humbly pulled down my shorts. I'm sure my face was roughly as red as my hair. I yelled at him a good 5 minutes beforehand that if I caught him peeking for a fraction of a second I would castrate him and burn the remains. Like he would look at me anyways. I can't imagine any reason he would, unless he was suddenly overcome with a brain eating disease. Actually, considering the state of his mental health, he probably _is_ diseased. At least, I think so. Anyways, I was so focused on making sure he wasn't looking that I stumbled and fell. It was a pathetic site; I had my shorts around my ankles, I was redder than a tomato plant, and my shirt was over my head which restricted my line of sight. I felt like such a fool. After removing my offense clothing I spent another 10 minutes trying to find where my robes where. In the end, I realized that I left them in my trunk, which was packed away. Without thinking, I ran out in my bra and underwear (mum had to buy me new bras since I actually grew out some basoomas). Everyone turned around and stared.

It. Was. Mortifying.

My social status was bad enough as it was, with Potter tarnishing my reputation, but this...I have no words to describe it.

I ran with my face red and eyes burning with shame as I scanned everywhere for my trunk. I found it after an excruciating 2 minutes and quickly dressed myself. When I returned to the head compartment, Potter was bent over in silent laughter with tears of mirth pouring down his face. Great. Let's add another 50 points to my chagrin.

After regaining composure, he said, "Well Evans, I did not expect that from you. If I didn't hate you so much then I would've found your body quite alluring."

That did it.

I slapped him. Hard. My hand left a red imprint across his face. He was shocked. I was sure there was Hell to pay for it later, but at that point I didn't care. My confidence was in shambles. It was if someone had taken a hammer to a piece of glass and promptly smashed it a couple of times.

I ran out of there in tears as I made a bid for the bathroom. For the rest of the train ride, I sat in my stall and cried.

* * *

Aww. It must hurt your little hearts to see Lily and James hating one another so, but for the sake of storytelling it must be done.

Lily Evans is a teenage girl and like all of them she is incredibly silly at times. As you can see she likes to exaggerate a LOT, and she doesn't seem to have much confidence. If you think her character is weird then I'm sorry, but she does develop as the story unfolds. I actually like her quite a bit =)

Her life truly does seem a bit unfortunate, and sorry I cut it off so shortly, but it's just the beginning. The story needs to develop.

**Please review! The button is only a click away!**

With much peace&love,  
Russian Jewish Joupa.


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